


terrible angels

by Reachingplacebo



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Character Study, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Sort Of, sort of again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:08:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29640696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reachingplacebo/pseuds/Reachingplacebo
Summary: “It’s my job to get the right people in the right shallow graves, or I’ll end up in one” she had said.It hadn’t been true, not even slightly.
Relationships: Administrator/Miss Pauling (Team Fortress 2)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	terrible angels

**Author's Note:**

> so this has been sitting in my draft for some months, even though I wrote it all at once on my way home from a party.
> 
> I have so much I want 2 say about these two, so many theories and opinions on the nature of their relationship. I could probably write several pages on Helen's past and Miss Pauling's unrequited, but not really unrequited (Helen just doesn't understand love), feelings. But alas, I decided to limit myself.
> 
> the title is taken from cocorosie's terrible angels, because I liked the melody and thought it fit. although it probably alludes more to the fact that miss Pauling is an angel, sweet n obedient, but does terrible stuff with that. idk I'm reading too much into this.

“It’s my job to get the right people in the right shallow graves, or I’ll end up in one” she had said. 

It hadn’t been true, not even slightly. 

The Administrator would let her walk away from the project anytime she desired to, had even casually mentioned this a few times. But Helen already knew, they both did, that Miss Pauling would die before that happened, and Miss Pauling had no plans of dying before she had fulfilled Helen’s lifelong —longer than life— project and reaped her benefit from it.

It was strictly business until it wasn’t. 

Miss Pauling kissed Helen’s neck. Her dark hair, surprisingly soft and let out, swept over a bony shoulder. Helen had not moved from where she sat on the edge of the bed, but Pauling heard her think. The bedroom was quiet save the sound of their breaths. 

“Get me a cigarette.” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

Miss Pauling lit it for her too, watched her take a drag and her face burned violet and orange against the dark sky that filtered through the large windows.

“Do you like me, Miss Pauling?” Helen watched the cigarette burn between her fingers. 

Pauling blushed, a little embarrassed to be put on the spot like that, “Of course I do, I’ve devoted my life to you.” 

“Well, anyone would be willing to throw their life away when they know what I can offer, just look at our mercenaries.”

“It’s not because of that, ma’am” Miss Pauling admitted, “I mean, it’s what got me interested at first, but I like you. Not for the money or the power, I like you for you and that’s why I stay.” 

Helen hummed, smoke curled around the corners of her mouth.

“How much do you like me?”

Miss Pauling almost laughed at that. For having lived a life longer than any woman on earth, still continuing, the question almost sounded childish. The kind of question an anxious teenage-girl would ask her older boyfriend at night, clinging with sweaty hands to his arm.

“I satisfy your every whim. I frame and kill people without asking questions. I’d die for you, ma’am. I’ll use myself as a stepping stone for you to achieve your goal if I have to.” 

Helen took another drag and Pauling heard her think again. The silver in her hair looked pink and the lines around her eyes and mouth stood out. She was skinny, starved to the bone and Pauling could count the individual vertebrates jutting through her skin and poking through her thin nightgown. Her knuckles were equally prominent, purple and blue veins bent like snakes across them. Miss Pauling longed to trace the curve of her wrist with her fingers. 

“I see why the scout is so fond of you” Helen turned to look at her and perhaps it was Miss Pauling’s wishful thinking but she imagined a smile hidden in the grey eyes, “A clever and beautiful thing like you.” 

Pauling blushed again and ducked her head slightly. She had never felt coy before, not since childhood at least. She felt the same way under Helen’s fierce gaze as she had done when she was five and hid behind her mother’s long skirt. 

“I’m nothing compared to you, ma’am.”

Helen chuckled and took another long drag from her cigarette, never taking her eyes off Pauling. Pauling felt high under the attention, her heart beat softly in her chest and the noise in her head was muffled, warm, quiet, lovely. 

“You're as cute as a button, Miss Pauling.” 

She held her cigarette out, burnt to ash and Miss Pauling quickly stood to fetch an ashtray for her to discard it into. Only lip balm stained the cigarette filter. 

Miss Pauling lifted the blankets and tucked her in like a child.

“Good night, Miss Pauling.”

“Good night, ma’am.”

Pauling felt herself wait by the bedside. She lingered, drawn in by something she couldn’t explain. Perhaps it was the grey streaks by Helen’s temple, the elegant curve in her thin neck, or the softness of her face when it had been scrubbed clean of all traces of make-up.

“Do you want another kiss?” Helen asked as if she could read her thoughts.

“Ah- N-No, ma’am, I-“

“It’s quite alright, I assure you, after everything you’ve done for me.” 

Pauling leaned down, hesitantly as if blind, and kissed the side of Helen’s mouth, then cheek and forehead before she eventually gathered enough courage to press her lips directly against Helen’s. They were thin, soft, and better than anything her dreams could create. 

Helen’s fingers traced Pauling’s cheek as she straightened her back, the wiry knuckles creating lovely friction against her warm skin. 

“Cute as a button.”


End file.
